


The Best Kind of Accident

by SwarleySparkles95



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Requited Love, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-04-25 19:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14385195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwarleySparkles95/pseuds/SwarleySparkles95
Summary: Marco has been in love with Jean since he met him at the young age of five. After years of pining an unexpected, drunken one night stand leaves Marco with more than he bargained for.Will things between the two work out for the better? Or will fear, misunderstandings and life simply get in the way?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning- this first chapter is basically all smut with a big dash of pining.

Everything felt hazy and right in the best kind of way. They were both drunk and Marco knew it but it felt so good and it was clear to him neither thought to stop, neither of them capable of thinking any fully coherent thoughts. 

Every time Jean touched Marco it felt scorching and the feeling lingered. Jean's hands roamed all over Marco’s body and it felt like he was alight in the most perfect way possible. Pulling back from a passionate kiss Marco’s hands came to take Jean’s face and he could feel himself drunkenly swaying but everything seemed perfect. Marco had wanted this for so long and everything that was happening seemed to be in a dream like state, making Marco fear he would wake up to find this was a dream once again. The way Jean looked back at him had Marco feeling like he finally had a chance, that Jean could in fact return the feelings he had harboured for so long. Each day he had stayed by his best friend and suppressed the ache in his chest , pushing down all the words he’d he wanted to say, scared of the rejection he could face. Finally after years and years of waiting he was getting what he wanted. 

 

They stumbled together from the door of Marco’s apartment through to the bedroom, tearing off whatever clothing they had and flinging it to a forgotten part of the bedroom. Within practically no time at all both were completely void of clothing and panting heavily as they stared at each other, eyes filled with lust. Knowing that there was a chance this would never happen again Marco surged towards Jean, deciding that he needed to try and express just how much this stubborn asshole meant to him. Jean enthusiastically reciprocated, pushing Marco onto the bed, deepening the kiss and tangling his fingers into his hair. Marco moaned back appreciatively as his back arched from the bed. Slowly Jean kissed his way down to Marco’s chest licking a strip over Marco’s nipple that left him whimpering. Raising his eyes to meet Marco’s Jean repeated the action before sucking on it causing Marco to thrash against the mattress. In their drunken state Marco realised they probably wouldn’t last too long. 

 

Jean continued his way down Marco’s body, continuously placing sloppy licks and kisses on each part of Marco’s body before he reached Marco’s cock. He gently sucked at the head, relishing the salty taste as Marco’s head fell backwards and he cried out. Encouraged Jean took more of Marco into his mouth and began to bob his head as Marco’s hand came down to grip Jean’s hair and push his head further down. Accidentally pushing a little too hard Jean started to gag and came up for air. 

 

“M’ sorry” Marco managed to slur and Jean’s response was to simply kiss him passionately. His hands rummaged through Marco’s bedside draw and successfully grabbed the bottle of lube. Had he been sober perhaps he would have taken a greater notice at how it was already half empty. Jean uncapped the bottle after drunkenly fumbling with it and lube went everywhere. Both boys, still being drunk, found this hilarious and couldn’t stop giggling. Marco’s head turned to laugh into the pillow as Jean doubled over with giggles. 

 

Finally managing to calm down after a few shaky laughs Jean scooped some of the lube that had fallen onto Marco’s stomach into his hand and spread it on his cock, moaning and bucking into his own fist several times. Marco bit his lip as he watched the view, feeling lust pump through his veins. So many times in the privacy of his own room he had imagined what it would be like to watch Jean pleasure himself. How Jean would look if he was fucking Marco or indeed getting fucked by Marco. Although his view was hazy from the alcohol Marco couldn’t help but feel a kind of giddiness that was not simply a result of the alcohol. 

Marco startled out of his thoughts as he felt a finger at his entrance and blushed. Once the initial shock had worn off he pressed himself closer to Jean giving the go-ahead that he wanted it. Tentatively Jean pressed a finger inside of Marco. The alcohol numbed some of the pain. Although Marco had fingered himself before he had never had someone else do it and the feeling was one hundred times better. Jean was careful to move his finger slowly so as not to hurt Marco but he gradually sped up before adding a second in. After moving the two fingers for a while he increased the pace further at Marco’s command and watched in breathless awe as Marco began to moan and whine for him. Adding in the final finger and curling them Jean moaned as he felt Marco tighten around him when he found that bundle of nerves that made Marco shudder. 

 

Pulling his fingers out and breathing heavy Jean lined himself up with Marco’s entrance and looked to Marco for confirmation. Marco nodded, hoping that his expression would convey just how much he had wanted this for so long. Slowly and steadily Jean pushed himself in as Marco squirmed and wiggled beneath him. Both of them were virgins with practically no experience before this and the feeling was so foreign to the two of them that they had nothing to compare it with. For both of them it was the best feeling they could ever have experienced. 

Almost losing his balance with how good it felt and the drunkenness pumping through his system Jean eventually started up a pace slowly. Marco’s breathing became heavier as he gripped onto the sheets and started to whimper the deeper Jean pushed. Feeling his patience go and the lust take over Jean picked up his pace and slammed into Marco earning a high pitch wail as continuous moans starterd to pour from his mouth. 

Marco felt tears fall from his eyes but they were the best kind of tears. Tears of the overwhelming pleasure but also tears of joy that this was finally, finally happening and there was nothing in this world he wanted more. Never had been and never will be. Jean kept up his relentless pace, gripping onto Marco’s hips hard enough to leave bruises but he kissed so gently in comparison. Eventually, his hands came to cradle Marco’s face the same way Marco had done to him earlier as Jean gazed down at Marco. Marco nuzzled into Jean’s hand, his chest fluttering with the display of affection.  
Suddenly Jean plunged in deeper hitting Marco’s sweet spot and he cried out louder than he had at any point that night. Taking that as a good sign Jean sped his pace up even more, his thrusts becoming sporadic, panting Marco’s name in his ear over and over. 

Feeling his release nearing Marco held onto Jean tighter, determined to never let him go. He had to confess and tell Jean how he felt about him, how he had always felt about him. 

“Jean I-“

He had almost done it, confessed everything, when he was suddenly overtaken by his intensive orgasm making him spasm and shake all over. Marco tightening around Jean had Jean’s eyes crossing and his moans reaching a higher pitch as he thrust a few more times into Marco before filling him with his release. 

Panting Jean pulled out and rolled to Marco’s side as Marco tried to control his erratic breathing. Their orgasms and their drunkenness meant that their tiredness hit them like a freight train. Having just enough energy Marco placed his arm across Jean’s chest in a loose cuddle a light smile tugged at his lips, knowing that in the morning he would wake up next to Jean, the way he had always wanted to.


	2. Waking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean wakes up the next morning with a pounding head and a heavy heart.

The first thing that Jean registered when he woke up was the pounding in his head. Fuck vodka red bulls, who knew they sneak up on you so fast? Jean would, of course, blame Jaeger who had challenged him by making some snarky comment about not being able to keep up. Thinking about Jaeger just made his head hurt even more.

The next thing he noticed was holy shit his mouth was dry and his throat was sore. Did he do a lot of yelling last night? Probably that was hardly rare for a night out. 

The last thing he noticed was the presence of another person in the bed with him. Blearily opening his eyes he squinted against the light of the room and groaned slightly. He closed his eyes again and ever so gently turned around to face the other person in his bed. Stealing himself he opened his eyes and felt like he was going to be sick. 

He was in bed with Marco Bodt. He was in bed with Marco Bodt naked. And come to think of it a little sore and tired out. Wait did they have sex?! Suddenly the memories all hit him at once. 

Jean tried to control his breathing, he really did but this was not the way he had imagined things. There had been a strict plan in his mind. Confess he actually had feelings for Marco directly to him, take him on the first date to that fancy Italian place he knows Marco wants to try but can’t justify spending all that money on, introduce him to his family as his boyfriend and making their first time as special as possible. Did Jean just fuck all that up? He hadn’t even had the bravery to act on it yet and somehow he’d managed to ruin it. 

Did Marco even give consent last night? Did Marco even like him that way? 

Marco frowned slightly and Jean began to panic. Marco was waking up and he’d have to deal with the rejection he was dreading to hear. 

Gently he slipped out of Marco’s arms and gathered his clothes, pulling on his boxers. He knew he was a coward. Perhaps if he hadn’t been he wouldn’t be in this position but he didn’t want to deal with this. He was half way through pulling on his skinny jeans from the night before when Marco gradually sat up. 

“Hey” Marco mumbled still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

“Hey” Jean murmured back. 

Stealing himself Jean had to ask the one question that lay the heaviest on his heart, terrified of the answer. 

“About last night…”

Marco looked up at him expectedly.

“I didn’t do anything against your will right?” 

His voice was small and his heart squeezed painfully at the thought of hurting the person he loved the most.

“No it was consensual. But we were both very drunk. Did I….?”

Marco couldn’t seem to get the words out but Jean knew that Marco was asking the same thing he had just asked. 

“No you’re fine.”

“Do you remember everything?”

“Yeah, do you?”

“Yeah I was drunk but not black out drunk.” 

Marco let out a relieved breath before looking like he was trying to pluck up the courage to say something. All Jean’s brain could do was short –circuit and think about what he knew was coming next- rejection, rejection, rejection. Marco had said it himself they were both drunk. Although Marco consented it doesn’t mean that he didn’t regret it. 

With this in mind Jean panicked and blurted out the first thing he could think of to prevent any further pain to himself. 

“We can forget about what happened last night. Things don’t need to change right? It was consensual so it wasn’t rape and it doesn’t have to stop us being friends- right?.” 

‘Jean you fucking coward’ was the only thing circulating in his brain. But he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t hear that Marco didn’t love him. It was painful enough on a daily basis thinking that this was probably the case but it would be so much worse actually knowing it. 

Marco looked stunned for a second before swallowing hard. 

“Yeah” He managed quietly before clearing his throat. “Nothing has to change. Of course.” 

Jean wanted to believe that Marco looked downtrodden, that he would grab Jean by the arm and tell him that last night meant everything to him like it had meant to Jean but Jean was too cowardly to even look up from the floor. Instead, he busied himself with gathering his clothes and gradually getting dressed. 

His hands were shaking and his chest was aching but he tried his absolute best to hide it from Marco. Marco didn’t deserve this shit. Marco deserved a best friend who wouldn’t creep on him or make him feel uncomfortable like he was clearly doing now. 

“How’s your head doing? Mine is pounding like a bitch right now, fucking Jaeger challenging me.” 

Jean said trying to steer the conversation away from last night and to return to some air of familiarity between the two. 

“You are way too easily riled up by him. It’s okay- I’ve got painkillers in the bathroom.” 

Jean nodded. “I should probably head home. You know have a shower, drink a fuck tonne of water and get stuff sorted before Monday.” 

Marco nodded his head looking at the covers distantly, clearly still uncomfortable. 

Jean cleared his throat a little awkwardly. “Alright, I’ll see you on Monday buddy.” 

Buddy? Buddy? What the hell are you doing Jean?!

“Yeah, okay. See ya.” 

Feeling his heart sink to his stomach with the strained response Jean made his way out of Marco’s apartment. He made the journey home in a daze, feeling empty and filled with dread and sorrow all at the same time. 

The minute he reached his flat and the door closed behind him he sank to the ground and felt his breath hitch before a sob made its way from his throat. Everything hurt. His head, his throat, his hips but nothing hurt more than his heart knowing he had created a rift between himself and the person he loved. 

His body jolted with each sob as tears overflowed from his eyes. He cursed himself and his stupidity. He cursed the fact that he was a coward and couldn’t just tell Marco he loved him. But most of all he cursed how he looked back on the night before and treasured every moment he felt like Marco was looking at him like he was something precious and how he had almost fooled himself into thinking that Marco loved him. 

Stumbling to the shower Jean continued to sob, unsure as to which tracks of water down his face were from the shower or his own tears. Stumbling out of the shower he wretched above the toilet, the alcohol from last night leaving his system with a vengeance. 

After his pitiful throwing up he slipped into his pyjamas and crawled back into bed as fresh tears stained his face, his mind wondering to how Marco was doing. If he was up in the kitchen whistling happily as he made himself a hangover breakfast. Was he chatting with his mum on the phone or watching trashy daytime TV? As was always the case when Jean closed his eyes the last thing he thought of was Marco’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jean...you idiot what are you doing?


	3. Office gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco tells his co-workers about his night with Jean

Hearing Jean leave through the front door seemed like an outer-body experience, the sounds muted like they were underwater. Marco’s eyes seemed to be staring at nothing in particular and it was as if he had frozen into some sort of trance. Surprisingly he didn’t cry, rendered too numb to feel anything at all. He stayed sat in his bed not knowing if time was going fast or slow , unable and unwilling to do anything. After what felt like hours he finally managed to pull himself out of bed.

Walking to the bathroom everything Marco did felt like it was automatic, running through the routine of a morning barely conscious. He stepped into the shower, went through the motions of washing, came out, dressed and ate something as he did every day. But this time it felt different. He felt empty, hollow and heartbroken but he couldn’t seem to cry. By the time he had done this it was already 2pm as he and Jean had slept in. Deciding distraction was the best option he settled down with some paperwork not due in for the next couple of weeks hoping it would focus his mind elsewhere. For 4 hours that’s exactly what it did as he immersed himself in file after file before his eyes grew tired and his mind wandered. He strolled to the kitchen cooking the most basic food he could think of before sitting in front of mind-numbing t.v. to distract himself. But as it rolled around to 8pm Marco found himself wondering back to bed hoping that sleep could block out the depression he was feeling. As his head hit the pillow and he was faced with the reality that he could no longer chase away the memories with distractions he felt his face crumple and his eyes water. A sob hiccupped from his chest and the floodgates opened. He cried soundly into the pillow, gripping it with such force it was as if he was holding it to keep him steady. He could still faintly smell Jean’s scent on the pillow and that made him cry even harder.

Trying to regulate his breathing he rubbed at his eyes furiously, sick of feeling so heartbroken. He had cried over Jean before, the crying into the pillow was hardly new but having experienced what he desperately wanted made the pain so much stronger than it had ever been before. He now knew for certain that Jean didn’t have feelings for him. No longer was there that small positive voice in the back of his mind telling him to have faith and that maybe one day he could confess everything. Now he knew he had to confess nothing, plaster a smile back onto his face and watch as Jean got everything Marco wanted with him with someone else. Feeling the darkness envelope him, exhausted by his tears Marco finally passed out at 1am.

The next day Marco woke up and still felt that icy vice grip on his heart as he staggered out of the sheets which only a day ago he had been tangled in with Jean. However he also never felt so thankful for his job, the idea of staying in the apartment with nothing to do but mope was terrifying and the distraction was welcome.

Making his way to work Marco wondered if he would tell his work friends Mina, Hannah and Thomas. They occupied the desks closest to him and they each acted as close confidants and friends always helping each other out. All three of them knew Marco was in love with Jean and had always been willing to listen to Marco ramble on about it but Marco couldn’t help but worry this time. It seemed like such a big mistake but Marco couldn’t bring himself to regret that night. People may tell him he was setting himself up for heartbreak, that he was stupid to be that drunk and give in but he wouldn’t trade that night for the world. As Marco reached their level in the work building he decided he would tell them, he couldn’t keep this to himself anymore and it would eventually come to light anyway. He made a mental note to call Armin and Eren when he felt ready to.

Dumping his bag on the desk Marco let out a sigh and almost collapsed into the desk chair vaguely aware of a friendly giggle from a neighbouring desk.

“Long weekend huh Marco?”

Marco winced slightly “You have no idea.”

Mina’s playful tone automatically became concerned. “What’s wrong?”

Marco contemplated telling Mina right away but then thought about how he would actually handle saying what happened out loud to someone else. It’s one thing to know it yourself but entirely another to tell another, it made everything more real. Marco was sick of crying and wanted to at least get through the morning.

“It’s a lengthy story, can I tell you at lunch? Let’s talk about you. How was your weekend?”

Mina immediately picked up on the conversation steering and Marco was grateful she said nothing about it.

“Boring. Not much happened really, caught up on some paperwork, and tidied the house. You know typical domestic.”

At that moment Hannah walked in and Marco’s heart sank slightly. He liked Hannah heaps and she was a valued friend but she was also in a very loving relationship with her fiancé Franz. She always came into work with cute stories about the grand romantic gestures and surprises he would organise for her. Marco was always supportive and happy for her, never bitter, but today it felt like it would be too hard to hear.

“Morning.” Hannah beamed practically radiating sunshine. On most other days Marco would have come in the same way.

“Hey” Marco and Mina replied together.

“Soooo how was everyone’s weekend?”

Mina looked a little uncomfortable and answered first “boring, domestic, the usual. And you?”

“Amazing! Franz surprised me with a river cruise followed by a candle lit dinner. I have bagged me a keeper.” She ended with a deliriously happy giggle before turning to Marco. “How about you sweetie? How was your weekend?”

Marco managed a small smile. “I’m glad he’s treating you well, you deserve that. Honestly, something happened which I won’t delve into now but it’s been really tough.”

“Marco.” Hannah sighed sympathetically as she embraced him in a hug. “At lunchtime – tell us all about it if you want to or if not maybe we could take a walk to distract you?”

Marco nodded a little teary eyed. “Sounds perfect. Could you maybe explain to Thomas? I don’t want to seem rude but the more times I say it the more I think about it you know?”

“Of course Marco.” Mina piped in with a sympathetic smile. Marco nodded gratefully as he turned back to his work.

Thankfully the work was distracting enough that Marco didn’t notice the time fly by until Thomas tapped on his soldier. Then the feeling of dread set in.

“Hey buddy how you doing?”

“I’m …um…” Marco then stopped unsure how to finish.

“Come on, let’s head to an empty meeting room then we can talk about it.”

Trailing behind him like a lost puppy Marco followed Thomas into meeting room 6 where Hannah and Mina were already sitting with an extra mug of tea next to them.

“Two sugars, extra milk like you like it.” Mina past the mug to Marco.

“Look Marco, there’s no pressure to talk but if you need to we’re here. This is a safe space.”

Marco felt his eyes start to water and he knew this would be embarrassing. It was unlikely he would be able to turn off the waterworks and he couldn’t help but feel like no matter how lovely his friends were they could silently judge him. He managed to nod and take a shaky breath.

Steeling himself slightly Thomas asked “is this to do with Jean?”

Marco’s eyes shut as he nodded and a few tears fell down his cheeks. Mina reached out and took one of Marco’s hands in hers. Deciding it was best to get this over quickly like ripping off a band aid Marco spilled everything.

“On Saturday night it was our friend Connie’s birthday so we went out drinking and we had way too much to drink. We ended up heading back to my place and had sex but in the morning when I finally felt like I could maybe grow a pair and tell him I love him he immediately said nothing has to change, called me ‘buddy’ and then left. I feel like such an idiot because now I know what it’s like to be with him and that he definitely doesn’t think of me like I think of him and it hurts so much.”

After pressing everything out so quickly it felt like one long sentence Marco promptly burst into tears and was immediately engulfed in a hug by Mina and Hannah. Hannah rubbed his back as Mina reached out with one hand to grab a tissue from the tissue box which had been strategically placed on the table.

After Marco had calmed down a little Thomas piped up as Marco felt his stomach tie with anticipation.

“Buddy huh? That’s really rough.” Thomas supplied with sympathy in his eyes.

“Marco I don’t want to get your hopes up but the fact that Jean slept with you in the first place suggests that he clearly is attracted to you like that at least in some way.”

Marco smiled sadly. “No he was drunk. He would never sleep with me sober. I feel like I shouldn’t have slept with him but I can’t bring myself to call it a mistake. Was I an idiot?”

Marco dreaded the answer as he asked it.

Hannah smiled kindly at him. “No, you weren’t an idiot. You’re in love with him. I think if any of us were in the same position we’d have done the same. Besides this isn’t a short term thing you’ve loved him for a long time, you’re only human. Of course you would have taken the chance if it was given to you. I’m not convinced he’s not interested though, it just doesn’t sit right with me. Have you spoken to him since he left?”

“No. Radio silence from both of us. I think he’s probably regretting it and doesn’t know if he can bring himself to talk to me. I really don’t want to lose him as a friend.”

“You won’t.” Mina said firmly. “You guys have been friends too long for that. Worst case scenario it’s awkward for a while and takes a bit of time to get back to how you guys were. If that’s the case then we’ll do everything we can to help you get over him. I promise you Marco you will be happy in the end.”

Marco shook his head sadly. “I don’t want to get over him.” He managed to press out before a few more silent tears cascaded down his cheeks.

 He was starting to wonder if he would ever run out of tears to cry or if the dull ache would ever leave. But all he knew in that moment was he could not lose Jean from his life. He promised himself in that meeting room that soon he would reach out to Jean again and make sure he never let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have updated :) I have now finished my university course so will hopefully have more time to write and will update regularly. Thank you to everyone reading, commenting and leaving Kudos- it is all very much appreciated. I hope you enjoy!


	4. Meet Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco and Jean finally meet up after their fateful night together

“So I fucked up.”

Sasha couldn’t help but snort a little at Jean’s comment. “When do we not hear that coming from you?” 

However the look she got from Jean silenced her quickly and she immediately softened her tone. “What happened?” 

Jean, Sasha and Connie were all hanging out together on the Friday night almost a week after Connie’s birthday. Jean had managed to keep what happened between him and Marco to himself, too depressed to open up about it to anyone but he was coming to a breaking point and he just had to talk about it with someone. Both Connie and Sasha knew about Jean’s feelings for Marco but to their credit had been very discreet which Jean had not expected but was very grateful for. 

“So after your party …Marco and I got really drunk and we ….um…..had sex.” 

“WHAT???!” Connie and Sasha immediately screeched, gripping onto each other excitedly. 

“Get in there Kirschtein!”

“About damn time!”

When they registered the look on Jeans face they fell quiet again and the air filled with anticipation as they waited for Jean to continue. 

“Remember I said I fucked up? Well when we woke up the next morning I panicked and before we could properly talk about it I basically told him it meant nothing, called him buddy and left. I had the perfect opportunity and I wasted it because I was scared.” 

Connie wore a confused expression “ But he slept with you….”

“I mean yeah but that doesn’t mean he actually likes me in that way.”

“Jean, Marco is not the type to sleep with someone unless he really likes them. Do you really think it meant nothing to him?”

Jean rubbed his hands down his face in frustration. “I don’t know but I can’t ask him now.”

“Sure you can.”

“No I can’t! What am I supposed to do? ‘Oh hey Marco I know this is super awkward but remember when we banged the other night? Which I’m pretty certain was both of our first times, that was just a small thing right?’ If I act like it’s a big thing he may get scared off but in the really unlikely case he loves me back it would hurt him. Bringing it up is just going to cause even more damage.”

“Are you sure keeping this all pent up is really going to make it any better?”

“No but at least there’s some uncertainty with that. I feel like if I mention it it’s certain things will change and mostly certainly for the worse.”

Sasha and Connie looked sympathetically at Jean. Sasha bit her lip and brushed a hand through her hair. 

“You should still text him. If you keep this avoidance up he may think that you hate him which is the last thing you want.”

Jean nodded stiffly. He had wanted to talk to Marco all week but was terrified of the tension it would bring and how weird things could be between them. He figured if he was going to text he needed to be as casual as possible. 

Jean: Hey 

Taking a deep breath Jean sent the message and Sasha placed a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t have to wait long for a reply. 

Marco: Hey

Jean: How are you?

Marco: I’m okay, you?

Jean: Yeah I’m fine work is the same as usual. What have you been up to?

Marco: Mostly work- nothing too exciting here! 

Jean wasn’t sure how to feel. On the one hand everything felt too formal, almost like talking to an acquaintance rather than a lifelong friend and crush. On the other at least they were talking. 

“Ask him to meet. It’ll be easier that way.”

“It could be so awkward though.” 

“Sure but the longer you leave it the worse it’ll get.” 

Jean sighed but had to admit that they were right. He wanted things to go back to how they were more than anything even if it hurt him. 

Jean: Wanna get coffee tomorrow at say 1?

Jean wrung his hands together as he waited for a response. This reply was taking longer than the others and the fragile looks from Connie and Sasha were hardly helping the situation despite their good intentions. When Jean’s phone vibrated he lunged for it. 

Marco: Sure  

“Thank god” Jean muttered before typing out a response. 

Jean: Great  Let’s meet at Kings

Marco: Sounds good- see you then! 

“Thank you guys.” Jean said quietly to Sasha and Connie. “I really needed someone to talk to.”

“We’re always here buddy. Next time you can tell us sooner rather than supressing it.”

Sasha nodded her agreement and put her hand on Jean’s arm when he started to leave.   
“One more thing Jean. You may be one of the most sarcastic and stubborn assholes I have ever met but you are also one of the best people I have met. You deserve to be happy and Marco would be good for you. You owe it to yourself to think about telling him how you feel. Be happy together.”

Jean nodded tightly with a weak smile wondering what tomorrow would bring.   
***************************************   
Jean fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, a nervous habit. He had been simultaneously excited for and dreading today. He needed to see Marco again but he couldn’t bear the idea that it would be awkward. He had arrived early due to his jumpy mood which he was now regretting as he fidgeted in his chair from the nervous energy. He was so pre-occupied with his thoughts he barely noticed when Marco actually walked up to their table and took a seat. 

“Hey.” 

Jean jumped a little at the greeting but managed to get himself together enough to reply. 

“Hey. You’re early.”

“So are you.” Marco gave a small smile. 

“Touche.” 

An awkward silence fell over the two and Jean started to feel like that scene in friends when Ross and Mike have to find something to talk about. It was one of the worst feelings he had ever felt. Eventually , after some strained silence which made Jeans stomach continuously sink, Marco mumbled something about ordering a tea and asking what Jean wanted before disappearing to the front counter. Letting out a big sigh Jean rested his face in his hands and tried to calm himself down. Some initial awkwardness doesn’t mean a complete disaster. Still he grabbed for his phone. 

Jean: Guys it’s so awkward fml

Sasha: Did you tell him how you feel?!

Jean: No we’ve barely said more than four words to each other. 

Connie: Fuck

Jean: Thanks bro

Sasha: Jean you gotta be honest with him. You don’t have to tell him everything but at least tell him you still want to be his best friend. He may be hesitant because he might think you want to break things off and he could loosen up once he sees that’s not the case. 

Jean: Worth a shot I guess

As Marco returned Jean slipped his phone back into his pocked and sparked up conversation. 

“Thanks.” Jean said as Marco slid a cappuccino over to him. “So I wanted to start off by saying thank you for meeting me. I’m going to be honest I figured you may never want to see me again after what happened and I’m so relieved you responded.” 

Jean looked up from the table to analyse Marco’s reaction. His eyes didn’t seem to have their usual sparkling glint and there appeared to be dark circles under them but whilst Jean felt some concern for what could have caused it he was just thankful to see Marco again. 

“Jean.” Marco said softly. “Of course I want to keep seeing you. You’re my best friend and I know things may seem a little strained between us right now but I won’t go anywhere. You said yourself what’s done is done. We just need a little time to re-adjust but we’ll be okay. I’m just glad you don’t want to leave.”  
Marco reached out and clasped Jean’s hand to emphasise his point. Both of their hearts squeezed painfully at the term ‘best friend’ and the fact that what had happened was simply going to be buried but both pushed their feelings down. 

“Thank you.” Jean murmured. 

“Anytime.” Marco replied with a small smile which didn’t quite meet his eyes. 

“Sooo did you see the new walking dead game is out soon?” 

Jean thought it best to just launch into conversation about stuff they both loved to get them back on track. The walking dead game was perfect because he knew Marco loved it with a passion.  
“No. Not at all. I’ve never heard of it and it’s not like I’ve played each game three times to enjoy it for longer” Marco replied sassily and Jean felt a weight off his chest as things seemed to be edging towards normal. 

“Alright dick.” Jean muttered back with a grin on his lips as Marco chuckled. They were then launched into a fierce debate about who would be coming back in the final season and it was like nothing had changed. 

“It’s not going to be Christa it’ll be Lily! Think about it she has more of a chance of being alive and it’s a throwback to the first season so they’d bring her back for nostalgia. Plus she’d be the perfect villain.”

“No way it’s gonna be Christa! All the fans want to know what happened so they’ll put her in to please them. Nobody liked Lily so they wouldn’t bother.”

“Christa was shot for sure! And that’s my point nobody liked Lily so they’ll put her in as a villain.” 

“Alright Bodt put your money where your mouth is. Ten bucks says it’s Christa not Lily.”

Jean reaches out to grab Marco’s hand to shake it only to have it retract and a wave of fear and hurt rush through him. That is until what Marco said next. 

“Twenty.”

“Jeez big spender. Fine just more money for me.”

The two shake on it with faux seriousness. Silence covers for only a few seconds this time before they speak up again. 

“Now we’ve made that bet it’ll probably be something random like Arvo.” Jean pipped up. 

“Urrgh Arvo’s so annoying! But if imagine if it was Bonnie, Mike and Arvo.”

“Arvo could be seeking revenge.”

“Didn’t they travel ages away though? Would he even bother he shot her already?”

“And what Lily wouldn’t have had to travel for ages?”

“Fair play.” 

“Maybe we should have a game night when it’s released? We could invite everyone else and fight over decisions and of course laugh as you lose money to me.” 

“I think you mean your money to me.” Marco giggled as Jean glared at him with a playful smirk. 

“Guess we’ll just have to wait and see …….you loose your money.” 

Marco rolled his eyes but smiled thankful for how well this seemed to be going. 

“We should have the whole gang round again. You gonna try and cosy up to Mikasa on the couch to get close to her again?”

The way Marco said it sounded like friendly teasing but as he said it he felt that relief from earlier recede. Why the hell had he said that? He knew how much Jean had liked her and all it would do is hurt him to hear the answer.  
Jean groaned in embarrassment. Ages ago when they had all had a gathering Jean had slowly edged his way to be near Mikasa in what he thought was super stealthy moves only to find everyone teasing him about it at the end of the night. It was even worse hearing it from Marco.   
'No I don’t want to cosy up to her anymore regardless of how much I wanted to when we were 14. Instead I want to cosy up to you instead but you’re completely oblivious and uninterested so I’ll just head off to my lonely hole of self-pity and loneliness as I watch someone better than me eventually get together with you.' 

“I was 14 can’t we move on.” Jean groaned as Marco smiled lightly. 

“Alright I’ll let you off.” 

“Thanks so much for that privilege sir.” Jean retorted sarcastically. 

As the two of them made plans for a group game night and bantered back and forth both couldn’t help but feel like everything could be alright in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been so long and I feel terrible! I will try and upload more asap - I have been warned this year will be hell so unfortunately I can't make any promises to upload weekly but will try my hardest. Thank you to those of you reading and leaving comments it means a lot :)


	5. Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco makes a discovery which will change his life forever

Everything was not alright four weeks later. Marco felt like absolute shit. His head was pounding, his lower back was hurting and he was puking his guts out at 4am. Being sick was always awful but being sick in the middle of the summer was always the worst. After what felt like an age Marco stumbled back to bed and shut his eyes, desperate to just sleep it off. He had a presentation in 4 and a half hours and could not afford to miss this article pitch. He didn’t even care if he was off work sick for his birthday next week but he needed to be in today.

He had seen Jean regularly again in the last few weeks and things were almost back to normal. Almost being the key word. There were still awkward silences between the two which had never been there before. A sinking feeling always settled in Marco’s stomach when this happened, terrified Jean was going to have enough and up and leave despite what he’d said before. Any time they were around the group and Connie’s birthday party was mentioned they had to hide their downtrodden looks. Both of them were so determined to remain friends but hide their feelings it was like they were constantly walking a type rope. They were guarded around each other more than they had ever been before. All Marco could do is keep going and hope one day it would be completly back to normal. 

7am rolled around far too quickly for Marco’s liking and he slammed his hand down on the alarm before glaring at it and steadily getting up. He felt weak and each step felt like a tremendous effort as he walked to the shower. As he washed up he went through everything he was going to say in his pitch and answers to any possible questions they may have. He tried to reason him being sick may have been nerves but he didn’t get nervous about these types of things. Shrugging it off and just being determined to get through the day he turned off the shower, got dried and dressed before grabbing a cereal bar for breakfast, too worried about upsetting his stomach to each much else.   
Walking to work helped a little, the fresh air filling his lungs and making him feel more energised. 

“Marco you doing okay? No offense buddy but you look rough.”

Well great. 

“Honestly Thomas not really. Been throwing up most of the morning.”

Thomas looked at him with a slight glare. “What are you doing in today? You should be resting.”

Marco waved his hand dismissively. “Presentation. Will be fine.”

“You’re not even talking in full sentences. Are you sure you’ll be okay? We can reschedule.”

“I will be fine thank you Thomas for your concern.” Marco managed back with a shit eating grin. 

Thomas mock gasped. “A whole full sentence.” He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, “They grow up so fast these days.” 

Marco laughed weakly and gently hit him on the shoulder, but even for play it was a weak hit and Thomas felt himself getting more worried. 9 o’clock rolled around too soon and as the conference room filled Marco could feel the nausea rising again and he pushed it down with all of his might. 

Once everyone was settled and Marco had started he felt a lot better and a wave of relief washed over him as he felt he would get through this presentation at least. Unfortunately it was short lived when half way through his presentation a violent surge of nausea racked through him causing him to grab his hand over his mouth and rush out of the room at a truly impressive speed leading the remaining co-workers gobsmacked. Politely excusing herself Mina made her way to uni-sex toilets. As she came in she immediately heard retching and cringed before gently knocking on the occupied toilet door. 

“Marco? It’s Mina, are you okay?” 

“Never been better.” Marco managed to mumble back sarcastically. 

Mina huffed slightly. “You shouldn’t have come in today Marco. We could have rescheduled your health is important you know.”

Mina heard Marco groan before a toilet flush and Marco stumbling out of the cubicle to wash his hands. He looked pale and tired. Mina gently placed a hand on Marco’s head. 

“Strange, your head doesn’t feel as hot as I would have expected.” 

Marco simply nodded too tired to form a response. 

Whipping out her phone Mina started to type something into google.

“What were your other symptoms Marco?”

“Headache, nausea, vomiting….I kinda keep needing to pee all the time too thinking about it.”

Mina softly repeated the symptoms as she typed them into google before freezing slightly. Gently she pulled Marco to sit down on the floor and sat beside him whilst gathering the nerve to ask an important question. 

“Um, Marco…when you and Jean had that incident.” Marco frowned at this being brought up in the first place but even more so that Mina had termed it an ‘incident’. Then again he could hardly blame her what else do you call it? 

“….you did use protection right?” 

Marco froze completely. He had originally been so sure that they had but come to think of it now he couldn’t remember. The nausea came back at full pelt but this time he realised it wasn’t whatever was making him sick, it was pure fear. The colour drained even further from his face, which Mina hadn’t even thought possible as he stared at her wide eyed. 

“I don’t know.” He managed to whisper.

Taking a deep breath Mina gently rubbed Marcos arm. “Okay here’s what we’re going to do and please don’t panic okay? We’re going to go to the pharmacy and get some tests to be sure. I can either walk you home or I’ll come back with you – I’ll haggle with Clive to have his as my lunch break and then not take a break later.” 

Marco was about to protest but was shot down but the look on Mina’s face. Besides Clive was an easy going boss who would let her do that as long as she ultimately got her work done. Shakily he managed another nod, unsure as to how he gathered the strength to stand up and walk out of the loos.   
If he had been alone Marco would have made every attempt to not drink too much or to spend time well away from the apartment so that he could put off taking this test. However with Mina around that wasn’t much of an option as she encouraged him to chug water despite how it made him feel like he was going to throw up all over again. Clive had allowed them both to go home and told Mina to simply make it back when she could and to make sure Marco was alright getting home. Clive really was an exceptional boss.   
As they came towards Marco’s apartment building the tests felt heavy in the hand Marco held his bag in. They came to an uneasy stop outside of his apartment. 

“Do you want me to come in with you?”   
Marco said nothing for a few moments. Did he? On the one hand he was terrified and wasn’t sure how he could handle being around another person right now. On the other hand he felt like if he was left alone he wouldn’t take it and would just sit there panicking. Eventually he nodded and they made their way inside.   
They sat for a while on the coach, Mina gently holding Marco’s hands in hers and trying to calm him down. Eventually she noticed him squirming. 

“Marco you really can’t put this off. You drank that much to make it quicker remember?” 

Marco nodded again, something he’d done a lot of today and took the heavy weight of the pregnancy test with shaky hands. 

“I’ll be right out here if you need me okay? Just call me in if you want me okay? But after you’ve taken it I’m not watching you pee.”

Marco snorted slightly and mumbled a quiet thank you before dragging his feet to the bathroom. Taking a deep breath he unwrapped the pregnancy test and stared at it for what felt like an age before shaking his head sternly and willing himself to just get on with it. He went through the process, placed the test on the side and washed his hands before lowering the toilet lid and sitting on it with his head in his hands, timer on the phone already set.   
The beeping came too quickly for him and he leant over to turn off the alarm and reach for the test. He took a deep breath for courage and forced himself to look down. Staring back at him was a bright pink cross- it was positive. His eyes watered as a huge sob made its way out of his mouth even as he tried to cover it. Mina must have heard him and gently pushed open the door. His sobs were more pronounced now and assaulted him in never-ending waves as he clung to Mina like a life-line.   
“It’ll be okay.” Mina whispered over and over before gently kissing his forehead. Marco grasped onto those words desperately but deep down he knew he had no way of knowing if it would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! Thank you to those of you who are reading- I really appreciate it and hope you are enjoying it so far. I am aiming to update my works as regularly as possible but as I am in my final stages of teacher training I may be a tad slow but I will try my absolute hardest! Thank you to anyone who leaves comments and Kudos- they are always very much appreciated :)
> 
> For anyone who does drink make sure that if you are in an intimate action with someone else who is also drunk, you have their full consent not only for their protection but for your own too! Also, ensure that you know they are in the right state of mind to make a decision and be mindful to be safe!


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